Kiss
Puke
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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