How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
