Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
