Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you had me at cake vodka
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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