I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize