I want to walk on stilts...naked
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
In America we eat man semen.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
