I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
