i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
