why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
