I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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