What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There r osticjed everywhere
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
