I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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