also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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