How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
