i think my mom watched the whole time
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
