Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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