No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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