I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
