??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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