It's Friday. Sex?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
