I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
