Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
