and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
