At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
