I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I touched a dick in church today
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
