Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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