I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
