help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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