Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
