No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
