I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
