Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm at about main and main street
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
