It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
