I wish you could order shots online.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
