I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I feel great
I just peed on a car
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
In other news, I just burned my penis
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
