i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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