You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize