we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
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