Who did Billy Mays play for?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
