You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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