Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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