so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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