I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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