never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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