how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
