dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
