It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
