We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize