Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
