the condom got lost in my hair
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
