we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize