and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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