They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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