My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
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my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
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I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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