one might say we're banned from that church
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
