they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize