nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
