I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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