level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
