it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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