just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize