my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
