if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
