Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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