Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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