i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
