Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
